Another year climbing out of the cooley

I'm back to loathing my blog. Why? It's the pressure! Ugh. Every time I open my page to visit my favorite blogs, that Obama-con picture of moi smiled it's silly grin back at me, taunting me to come up with something to write. Well, I'm still dry as a day-old toast.

But I will say this, Life is Good. Really good.

Without going into detail, (I spilled those about a year ago if you're that interested) today is a super special day for me. It's the anniversary of the day my life veered off a crazy, serpentine road full of potholes and no shoulder and found an exit ramp that dropped me into a valley so sweet, so ripe it continues to amaze. But it's a valley, nonetheless.

Valleys, or if you're a Cheddar Head, Cooleys, may be beautiful -- shady on hot days, lush with pastures -- but valleys are also kinda chilly and offer the ever-present reminder that better views await, if you're willing to make the climb.

And because I'm one selfish, self-centered beastie, I crave the better view. But the climb can soooo SUCK. Yet I keep going, many times without even knowing why except for the feeling, the inner propulsion that I must move forward.

Deep down in the pit of my guts, I know something amazing waits for me. A book I aim to read every morning offered this little gem to me for today: "My sense of failure is a sure sign that I am growing in the new life. It is only struggle that hurts. In sloth -- physical, mental, or spiritual -- there is no sense of failure or discomfort."

So am I to trust that the laziness that I fight EVERY day is not sloth? I'm keenly aware of my laziness, my lack of follow through and the yucky feeling it leaves within. I feel failure at every turn. (True, that may be the perfectionist within.) Am I to trust that the wee lil' action I do manage to take is enough?

I guess the Universe thinks so. Within the last couple of months, I've experienced such a blowout of Magdalene support. Connecting with different authors, learning new methods of prayer, gaining deeper understanding of what the Magdalene means to me, and snatching glimpses of the Truth that is buried far down in my soul, I keep taking that wee lil' action.

Having hiked just a bit out of the valley, I am gaining a better view. But I want more. I want more peace, more serenity, more joy, more love. So I guess I'll pick up some more PowerBars and keep climbing. Anyone feel like joining me?