One of the bloggers I follow recently posted about Facebook. Comparing her paltry 197 friends to her husband's 661, she waxed about the friendship requests she's received and accepted. As I perused my Facebook mates' friend lists, they're rocketing into the 300s (clearly not as popular as Mama Bird's hubby) while I'm lagging just a titch behind. Currently hovering around the 131 mark, I've opted to protect my FB domain.Every so often I do a little house-cleaning of the friends list. Initially, I thought I had to accept every request, whether or not I knew them. Not only was it the polite thing to do, but more friends mean you're more popular and loved, right?
When I joined FB in the fall of '07, a smattering of college buds were on, but neither high school mates nor family could be found. All that has changed! I've got cousins leapin' on, left and right. I'm seein' an avalanche of high school chums joining (of course, an upcoming 20-year-reunion could have something to do with that). My point is, there's new friends and associates constantly popping up. So why am I not rocking the 300s?
Because I'm a bitch.
Yup. Sorry if I'm unapologetic about this fact, but there it is. I made the decision a few months ago to review my FB friend list and purge the people I didn't really know or trust. And I think it offended a few of those people because I regularly get friend requests from them. Well, sorry.
Yes, it's rude for me to ignore or block requests, but I gotta watch out for my bad self! I think of myself as a generally positive person who doesn't intend to harm others, but I know I've got this ballsy/weaselly personality that can be somewhat sandpaperish. And those who are on my FB friend list know what they're getting when they enter the Facebook world of this pissy kitty.
I really hate, no ABHOR making amends to people. But I end up doing it, a lot, because I have a tendency to speak/type before I think. Sure, with age comes some degree of mental engagement, but for the most part, I'm still an emotional talker/poster. Which is why I guard my Facebook world closely. If I don't know or trust you, you can knock all you want, but my door's locked. And it's purely selfish: so that I don't have to apologize to strangers for some inappropriate or offensive thing I will surely, eventually post. (I do it enough with the people I know.)
Eck, just admitting this feels yucky, like I've punched a baby! There's this part of me who wishes she were nice to everyone, sings with the birds, and frolics with the baby deer.
But that's just not how I roll. I can't even be bothered to fill the damn bird feeder. And the mess they make?!
Mike in Va. writes: Regarding Facebook friends, how do you deal with friend requests from people you know well but who you really don't like very much? (My solution is just to let them fester until they eventually disappear.)
ReplyDeleteI dunno Turbo...you always seem to make me smile & wish I was more like you...
ReplyDeleteHey Jen -- It just makes good sense to be discerning about Facebook friends. I tend to accept a lot of friend requests because I have an enormous family, lots of local folks online, etc. But I turn down a lot, too. I certainly don't think it's bitchy to ignore a friend request.I think it's smart. :-)
ReplyDeleteBeyotch Diane says: I'm starting to get requests from high school people I haven't seen in almost 20 years and it does seem a little odd. I also have a bunch of work people who have friended me and it makes me nervous about what I post. So I say you have the right idea about being more protective. I usually accept the friend requests of everyone who is not a stranger, but only because of my German Lutheran guilt about not being nice to people. Fucking German Lutheran guilt.
ReplyDeleteCousin Teresa sez: Ha ha! I LOVE this post! Sounds like we're pretty similar, except you explain it more eloquently! I also stick my foot in my mouth a lot, but hate apologizing for it afterwards. (maybe it's genetic from the pater familia) Can't we just pretend it never happened instead?? And PS, facebook can be kind of a scary place...best to be cautious. I have yet to hit the 100 mark and I'm okay with that.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the shout-out. I think you can make Facebook whatever you want it to be. Screw everybody else.
ReplyDeleteFIRST: You have that many freakin' Facebook friends? I have, like, NINE.
ReplyDeleteSECOND: If someone you haven't talked to for decades gets all bent out of shape because you won't Facebook-friend him, that's just weird.
THIRD: Even as a young girl, I hated Snow White for her annoying voice. Loved that Cinderella, though.
Hey Turbo, long time no read! Sorry, been neglecting my blog and everybody else's. Bacefook is the culprit of course. I clicked on your old link, but it went away! Thanks to Wooly Daisy, though, I found ya. My sis down in CA just started blogging, her wry humor so reminds me of you! Check her out if'n ya want, her name's Elaine and her link is http://www.kidscatsandjava.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteWanna be Bacefook buds? Kenneth Jensen in Bellingham WA network