Not sure how to feel, not sure if there's even anything to feel about. Apparently my dad has cancer. Just learned today. He's saying it's nothing, just a little spot in the esophagus requiring a simple same-day removal. After that, we'll see. Hmmm.
I say I pray all the time. Now I'm kind of wondering if my internal dialogues with Allah, Jehovah, Budda, whoever, is really prayer or just mindless chatter. But when I hung up the phone tonight, I thought about praying and then thought better of it. I don't know if I believe prayer will make a difference? It sucks to even admit my doubt, but there it is.
Fallible, eternally fallible. I can be nothing less than this.
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Wanna rub my belly!