Sunday, November 30, 2008

Bad storm gone

My girl Daisy's been wondering whaz up! Without totally airing everything, let's just say there's been a lot of hurt that I've both hurled and caught, mostly with my 3 sisters. Mom and Oh-Dad were brave enough to referee a sit-down yesterday. And I've got the emotional hang-over to prove it. But after two hours, things actually look a little brighter, feel a little safer, and appear as if we will move forward toward a better idea of what it means to be a family.

But family is a weird thing, I'm learning.

A mentor of mine has tried to explain that "family" is not a spiritual term. "Family" is a term that comes from the material world, and with the material comes all sorts of baggage with how a family should be. You know what I mean: the Norman Rockwell bullshit? the Brady's? the Ingall's? the Huxtable's? All cheery and happy with a 6th sense of always knowing what the other members need at the exact right time, forever on the same wavelength and completely "getting" the others. Fictitious crap, really.

What I'm seeing is that family, while not a spiritual term, definitely comes with opportunities. For me, it's THE opportunity to see just how little I've grown.

I have 38 years of old ideas and views about what family is "supposed" to be. What I experienced yesterday was a mixture of expectation and surprise. I have a deep hope that my family will always love me no matter what, and the fact that Mom, Oh-Dad, and us girls hung in there until the proverbial David Hasselhoff was singing on a tumbling-down wall, proved to me that they are willing to love me. That expectation was met.

What was surprising was how skewed my perception is. A lot of shitaki mushrooms hit the fan this summer and the pile grew from there. My recollection of events was completely different from what was shared by my sisters. My recollection of events doesn't even include some people who were there. And that frightens me. It scares me that my memory is that selective. It's spooky that what I heard was WAY different from what was said. (So I guess it's a good thing I went and got me a shrink and a psychologist last week.)

I know there's the old adage about an event: there's her version, there's my version, and there's the truth.

But what also came to light is just how careful I must be with this blog. When I started it, it was more of a private journal where I vented my religious anger and self-righteous crap. But it didn't make me feel any better. In fact, it felt like I'd swallowed the family hedge hog (poor Otis). I started taking personal pot shots at people close to me. It was usually tongue-in-cheek, joking kind of stuff, but there was an edge to it.

What I'm learning is that if I'm going to honor this penchant for writing, I must use it in a loving, positive way (thank God the election is over). What I am seeing is that when I get caught in negativity, it creates such a shit-storm in me that everything I touch turns to guano.

A few weeks ago I confessed to my doctor that I didn't want to drink, but was afraid I would (hence the additional head guys). Despite my years of recovery, my head was full of such fear and anger and worry and dread that it was manifesting itself in all sorts of harmful behavior. And that's some dangerous stuff. And I was reaping what I'd sowed.

So does this mean it's all daisies and lollipops? Any of you who know me even a tad know that I'm not capable of prolonging sickening, cavity-rich, dimple'ed BS. But I no longer look at the Litterbox as a dumping ground. It's more a platform for sharing that which is good, or changing, or happening. So, I guess I'm back -- a little deflated, a little-less angry, a lot more grateful, and delighted to report that the Magdalene heard my prayer for reconciliation . . . and she delivered.

I send you all so much love---

Namaste~


Saturday, November 15, 2008

Puppy halitosis

Who knew the breath of a 2-week-old puppy was so bad. I mean, they're cute and soft and oh-so-cuddly, but skunky? I wouldn't have thought it. But, it is B-A-D. When I picked up 1 of our 7 little ones this morning, I honestly looked around to see if Bambi's pal Flower had paid us a visit.

Holy crap! And then the little fella yawned and JESUS-MARY-AND-JOSEPH! Here I thought we only needed to worry about the poop and stuff. It's tough to say where this has come from or if all puppies have skunky halitosis. Maybe Sidney ate some skunk during one of her recent escapades and it's being excreted in her milk. Great. OR (gasp!) Sidney scored with a skunk rather than a springer!!!

Well, they are cute. Here's some pix from Bath Night earlier this week. They were 15-days-old here. Enjoy (and be glad our computers can only transmit visually)!


Friday, November 14, 2008

When churches fight . . .

I just received this funny, fun fun and found it too fab not to share. Besides, it proves my theory wrong that the catholics are total nut jobs. It would appear from this little conflict between a southern catholic church and an across-the-street presbyterian church that the catholics have a pretty good sense of humor. It's certainly not the first time I've been wrong about a group . . . Enjoy!










Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I'm sooooo Martha!!!

Can you stand it?! I type in jest, but have to admit, I'm so friggin' PUMPED!!! I can't believe I did this! The yellow square was my first project, complete with peep hole. In progress is this stripey scarf for my son or daughter, it's their school colors. Unfortunately they both balked because it wasn't 'cardinal & gold' (a made-to-order scarf to anyone who can correctly guess why!). I started the scarf at 3:30 this morning, couldn't sleep. Voices in the head were too loud. The knitting was pretty therapeutic, but Turbo needs a nap!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Turbo's feelin' the bloggy age of 100

So today is my 100th post. And what do I got? Cramped fingers . . . I'm learning how to knit! With all the uber spinning bloggers I've met on this cyber journey, I simply needed to find out what all the hub-bub is about! So my pal Bonnie got me going. And I couldn't believe the intensity of it! After finishing a few rows of stitches, I noticed my shins were damp--with sweat!!!

I'm digging it, but the fingers aren't as nimble as I'd hoped. . .

Friday, November 7, 2008

Obama's bringing 'it' back!

Visiting Wooly Daisy this morning, a post-election comment was left by someone who said they felt a little guilty looking at President Obama running through waves all buff and beautiful. Like they were oogling their dad or teacher or something. I can empathize. I, too, feel a little weird that this sexy being is now our leader. But it so beats the alternative . . .


















I never before realized that President Obama is not only returning hope to our thirsty nation, but also bringin' sexy back! Ka-pow!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Gettin' it right with Obama

I am not on a sugar high. In fact, I'm on a sugar low. No, it's an emotional hangover.

Like so many people I've talked to, Facebook posts I've skimmed, and blogs I've read, I was not alone yesterday in my fear that the election would get screwed over, again. Anyone remember 2000?

Despite my support for President Obama (mmm, feels so good), there was that part of me that had been kicked down, dismissed, disregarded, and overlooked by politicians and electoral colleges. Sure I hoped for change, but really? I must admit it: I did not believe it could happen. And I'm a white, Midwestern, middle-class, female feeling that way! I can only imagine what other demographics were feeling.

But in spite of such feelings, voting is something I've always done and knew I could not NOT do yesterday. And fortunately, millions of others flexed that muscle, too. And look! Look what we did! Change is coming!!! Change is happening!!! Change is upon us!!! Whoever would've thunk it?!

Other friends have posted portions of President Obama's (mmmmm) victory speech last night, so I won't waste space doing so here, but with Chicago only 3 hours away and a sister who lives there, what the hell was I thinking?! Why wasn't I in there!!!!

Because I lacked that fire of belief, that's why.

Eight years under Bush, when a popular vote said, "We want Gore," has drained me. A big glob of my moxy had been slowly eroded by Bush. I may have put on a strong face, but I was scared. Scared because I knew that if we didn't pull off this election, our country would be sucked off the planet into a vortex of hell like nothing we'd experienced before. Like Sarah Silverman stated in her Great Schlep, we'd be the assholes of the universe! (Yeah, I'm kind of a shiksa with my jew love. Don't worry, I married a Protestant.)

Anyway, thank God things have gone right, for once. Mmmm, make that left.

I'm so empty, ready to be filled up with the hope of President Obama (mmmmmm) and the crazy love between he and Michelle and their daughters, ready to ride this wave to heights never before reached! I'm ready!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Move On! Vote!!!

I just found this, it's my cousin's husband! Too cool! Now go vote!!!