My crack toys

Why is it that, knowing what's best for us, we gleefully do the exact opposite? Well, I cannot speak for you all, of course, only myself. That said, I am constantly at odds with this person.

I know what I should be doing: when I'm at work, I should be working. But what am I doing? Usually farting around on the Internet. When I'm at home, I should be taking care of the house. But what am I doing? Usually farting around on the Internet. When I'm talking with someone, I should be listening. But what am I doing? Usually thinking about farting around on the Internet. Shit! I'm an Internet junkie!

And it's not even stuff that really benefits me! Take Facebook, for instance. One of my lady friends got me on last fall and it's like crack! I want a Blackberry like a pothead wants a one-hitter: just so I can have it with me at all times! I will admit, Facebook has put me back in touch with some long lost friends and rekindled long-stagnant communications with close chums, but other than that? I can report I still suck at Scrabulous, scored a 90% on the Barack Obama quiz, and am a Level 87 Barbary Pirate with 19,834 buried coins. I know how impressed you are. Believe me, I'm equally so with my badself.

But all this technology is really starting to destroy my willingness to search for peace. Not only am I part of the Borg-like Facebook continuum, but my husband gave me an iPod Classic for Christmas only to be followed quickly by a new laptop so that I can use said iPod (iTunes no likey Windows ME). And now I'm blogging, which actually has been quite medicinal for me, so I'm not abandoning this ship. Sorry.

Does this mean, though, that I should abandon other interests? The thought of leaving Facebook rattles my rusty cage and I like the gadgets and gizmos. But they do come with a cost. And I don't know how much more I'm willing to pay. Maybe I can take baby steps, like 12 of 'em?

Step 1: I admitted that I'm powerless over the Internet and it's adjoining technologies, and that my life is unmanageable.

Step 2: Came to believe that a power greater than the Internet could restore me to sanity.

Step 3: Made a decision to turn my iPod, laptop, and DSL over to more responsible powers, as I determined them.

Step 4: Made a searching and fearless inventory of everything lost to this Internet insanity.

Step 5: Admitted to my husband, to myself, and our DSL carrier the exact nature of these wrongs.

Step 6: Became entirely ready to have our DSL carrier restrict my involvement with these defects of character.

Step 7: Humbly schedule the appointment to do so.

Step 8: Made a list of all people I ignored, work I didn't do, and time I wasted, and became entirely ready to make it up to them all.

Step 9: Arranged catch-up dates, worked overtime, and cleaned the house, unless to do so would irritate others.

Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when I wasted time, promptly admitted it.

Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve my ability to use the Internet and it's adjoining gadgets in a responsible manner.

Step 12: Having had a technological awakening as the result of these steps, I tried to carry this message to other Internet-addicted peoples, and to practice balance and responsible surfing in all my affairs.

Well crap, that doesn't sound very fun!